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The start to a new week. I am starting the week off by attending a Clean Bandit gig in Birmingham, I am super excited to see them, I've been a fan of theirs before the blew up to what they are and I can't wait!
Gigs are always a bit of a bittersweet experience for me, I love to experience live music, I enjoy the atmosphere and being surrounded by a group of people who all enjoy the same thing as me. I find the whole experience quite euphoric.
On the other end of the spectrum I suffer complete and utter anxiety for the majority of the day leading up to the gig. Alongside enjoying being in a crowd of people that are there for the same reason as me, I also panic endlessly that something bad is going to happen to me in such a huge crowd of people.
I experienced my first panic attack at a gig and ended up leaving early, I convinced myself that I was going to die that night and needed to get out. Ever since then I have always struggled with attending gigs but still attend them as I love it and don't want to miss out on that aspect of my life.
I am pre-writing this as I will miss my posting time and thinking about the panic that I will feel tomorrow is making my heart race a little, however Ben is joining me and I always feel safer with him by my side.
I will have to build myself up mentally for the evening but I will definitely enjoy attending it in the end. It is always worth me pushing through those barriers.
Do you struggle with attending events with large groups of people? How do you deal with it?
Toodles.
x
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