Letters to Friends #2

 [Source: Pinterest]

Dear Friend,

It has been some years since we have probably referred to one another as friends. I know I was to blame for that, it's probably one of the most regretful things I have done in my life.

I was 16, young and really, really didn't have a clue in life. I'm not trying to excuse what I did by age, but I didn't know how to deal with a heartbroken boy who used to vent all of his frustrations to me about you. I thought tough love may be the answer, because that is how I used to best deal with my situations. It backfired majorly, unfortunately for me, because I lost you.

I am sorry for the things that I said and the way that I did it. I have said this to you previously, but I suppose it must have fell upon deaf ears, for which I don't blame you.

It would take me a long time to get over the hurt if the shoe was on the other foot, I completely sympathise. 

We have spoken that once, do you remember it? The first time I saw your beautiful little girl. I'm not sure you would remember it, but when you looked at me like a stranger, that is when it all hit home for me.

I had tried to take a non-nonchalant approach and pretend that I didn't really mind that you weren't around in my life anymore. I think I just didn't have the guts to admit to myself, or anyone, that it was me that caused it.

I really do miss you, I still think about you when little things remind me of you or I'm reminiscing about all of the times we spent together. I was recently thinking about the time we were scared about the panther being on the loose even though it was miles away from where we lived and I convinced both myself and you that I spotted it on the housing estate near your house.

Those memories still make me smile, I'm glad I have them, but I do wish I hadn't been so stupid and impulsive and that we had many more memories to go along with them.

Life is a funny thing, as a kid through to my teens I couldn't fathom what life would be without you and now I wade through it and don't have you at my side any more.

I'm sorry.

Love, me.

x