Manic Monday #73

 [Image Source: Pinterest]

It was another not-so Manic Monday for me, but I am entering the last week of me being 26. Next Sunday I shall be 27...it came around a bit quicker than I expected!

I've had a pretty great year in retrospect, in the past year I have visited Canada and Costa Rica, both completely phenomenal trips, on complete opposite ends of the scale that I will remember forever. 

Ben and I moved out of my parents house to a house with 2 friends, which for the most part has been amazing and a huge learning curve! 

I have finally started learning a language and I think I'm doing pretty well at it so far...still couldn't probably hold a conversation with a Spanish person but I'm getting there.

 I made some huge headway with my book writing, currently trying to delve back in to it with some vengeance now. 

 I re-joined the gym and am now a little bit of an exercise addict and have managed to maintain my goal weight at Slimming World. 

Friends have come and gone as usual but I'm definitely feeling more content with the people who are currently surrounding me.  

Personally, I feel much more confident within myself and who I am. I grew tired of pretending to be something I am not and changing myself to fit others. I think this also changed the people I gravitated towards, some people just aren't good to be around.

I am so happy with my body and for me to say those words feels absolutely liberating. I have been unhappy with my body since becoming a teenager. The changes that happened going through puberty were never ones I was happy with and I became incredibly self-conscious, this effected me more than I can ever put in to words, I became very shy to put it briefly. To now finally be somewhere I feel comfortable getting my arms out in the summer, to wearing a body-hugging dress and not feeling afraid of what people might think about my 'lumps and bumps' to wearing tops that show a strip of my stomach with high-waisted trousers is so amazing that it can't help but let my confidence grow that little bit more each time.

I remind myself regularly that I am lucky to be where I am. I have an amazing boyfriend, I get travel to amazing places, I have a job, I have a roof over my head, I drive anywhere I want to go and am a fully functioning person who takes regular internet usage completely for granted. 

And it's pretty amazing.

This post turned out to be a little more sentimental than I intended it to be, but seeing the wonderful parts of this past year makes it all feel real. I am now looking forward to the 27th and what it may bring with it.

Toodles.

x

Words

Blank pages need to be filled, the starting word is the hardest. The whiteness staring back, burning in to your eyes.

The first sentence, once it's done the rest follow on with ease. The black and white contrast a welcome sight, making the space feel busy and give them a purpose. 

Sitting, reflecting, thinking...sometimes all you need is to let the words flow. Don't think too hard now, it becomes easier. 

Inspiration, ideas, influences. All of the I's.

x

July

July, I'm incredibly late to your party. Unfortunately it's not even fashionably so, you've slipped by unnoticed for the most part and I am sorry.

I usually enjoy you, July. The month before my birthday and I take time thinking about Ben's birthday presents, our birthday celebrations and generally enjoying spending time with you, July.

You usually pose nice weather, good moods and good times. This year, you've been a complicated one. I'm unsure if this is reflected some in your turbulent weather swings, July.

I attended Emily's funeral. It was heartbreaking. It still feels strange that she has gone. Even though we weren't close anymore I still have known her longer than half of my life. Seeing her mum was difficult but also relieving in a way.

I want August to be good to me. Better than you, July.

No hard feelings, eh?

Until next year.

Toodles.

Manic Monday #72

[Image source: Pinterest]

Monday again, you do roll around a little too quickly. I had a nice weekend, filled with lots of people even though I did intend otherwise. I avoided my house in the evenings as much as I could as the incessantly boring (to me) Evo took place and of course my house was overran by boys and games.

I did obviously spend time with my friends but did so while it wasn't on, I escaped for the evening to my friends house and we hung out for the evening which we hadn't done in ages. I also got to spend some time with my parents and brother which is also a pleasure.

I had all good intentions to start the week off well, in a good positive place, I started my day with a mantra. I want to try mantra's for a while to see if I can do some self-improvement.

But then I just had a trying day which tested my first mantra day. Things seemed to go wrong at work, all my technological appliances formed an alliance against me and decided  to not work as intended.

I love technology and am definitely pro-improvements, buy my oh my I despise the stuff when it doesn't work.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that I will be looking after my aunties puppy for a few days while shes away in Ireland in August. She's super adorable and cutesy so I'm very much looking forward to having her for a couple of days.

I know the state of my blog has rapidly gone from bad to worse since June, it is my full intention of getting back in to the swing of things, but I am just riding the storm waiting it out for the pazazz to come back.

Positive mantras, positive mind-set, positive thoughts.

We'll be back soon.

Toodles.

x

Manic Monday #71

It looks like the not-so-manic Mondays might be on the return, things are slowing down at work in time for our slowest period of the year.

I dislike being un-busy, I tend to create work for myself if this happens as idle hands are the devil's play things and on the other hand I then resent being at work when I could be doing much more constructive things as opposed to whiling away hours of unnecessary forced work. 

I am trying to get back in to writing my book, the characters have been flitting in to my mind quite frequently and have been tantalising me back in to their world. I decided to read through all I have written so far to edit and amend where necessary, I started it a fair while ago now so I am sure it will need it! I do want to have a friend read what I have done far to get an outsiders perspective, but thought it best I read through first!

Ben's mum is staying with us this week, so we are playing hostess for the first time which is nice. It's strange that you never think about your routine at home until someone else comes in! I know sometimes my evenings are utterly ridiculously spent, but to each their own!

Wednesday will be here before I know it and I will be attending Emily's funeral, it still doesn't feel right. It's not sitting right with me at all and I don't think my mind can comprehend that she's gone and I didn't get to say goodbye. I am sure her funeral will be difficult and incredibly sad but hopefully it will bring with it some semblance of peace and a way for me to accept it. 

The above makes it difficult for me to know how to finish this, I think I may just go with a...

Toodles.

x

Manic Monday #70

I've loaded my YouTube Favourites playlist with some songs I've been listing down, it's currently playing through and I'm ready. 

I'm in a complete funk at the moment, I honestly can't put my finger on my ambivalent mood. I think I am missing Canada. Nothing is inspiring me, I don't feel particularly inclined to go to the gym, I'm not too fussed about doing my Duolingo lessons. I won't bore you with the minors but I'm sure you can get my gist.

Nothing is tickling my fancy at the moment! I feel like I'm half asleep, stumbling through life doing what I have to do.

Except a book, a book that I would never have normally given a second too, it's a mystery novel; of sorts, I use that term very loosely, not really knowing the genre I am currently reading very well. It's probably not in the realms of the mystery genre at all. It's a beach read, let's face it, Adele.

The Sudden Departure of the Frasers - it was an impulse pick-up buy while I was shopping, an easy read to reignite my passion for reading after George R.R Martin put my love of reading to the test and essentially broke my heart. Oooh, the pain. 

I am thoroughly enjoying reading the book and I really want to find out what's happening on Lime Park Road! The characters are easily relatable and the writing makes you want to turn over that next page, it's not a task to read it. It's just what I needed.

I'm fed up of feeling like a zombie, so I went to the gym, told my boss/uncle that I have an interview on Thursday morning, cooked some great food and am about to embark upon a few Duolingo lessons before relaxing with The Sudden Departure of the Frasers. 

How do you get out of your ruts? What do you think it is that makes you feel that way in the first place? 

Toodles.

x